Masturbation May

as a sex educator/coach who doesn't really masturbate

Inspired by former Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders, who was forced to resign after recommending that encouraging masturbation could help prevent the spread of STIs in young people, May became Masturbation May.

Five years ago I challenged myself to masturbate almost every day of Masturbation May to celebrate. I tracked my experiences on a piece of paper.

Ya'll, that didn't last long.

I'm simply not much of a masturbator and I never have been. My arousal is mostly relational - I get turned on from feeling desired and engaging in a shared experience -or, my arousal can be in response to reading erotica that reflects my kinks. Either way, it’s not super common that I randomly experience the kind of horniness that inspires solo sex.

Don't get me wrong, if I have an itch, I'm happy to scratch it. I just don't get the itch that frequently.

Want tips for your solo sex sessions? Check out this article I wrote!

Anyway, I decided to stop after maybe a week when masturbating became more of a chore than a joy. I was still physically enjoying the act and I was orgasming every time but the acts weren't in pursuit of pleasure anymore. It was about fulfilling a random commitment I had made to myself and the insta world.

My masturbation affirmations article is near and dear to my heart. I was able to stop my own challenge without remorse because I know that my lack of interest does not indicate that something is wrong with me. I don't harbor shame about my relationship to masturbation - a benefit of being a sex educator who understands that healthy sexuality exists across many experiences.

I want to make sure others feel comfortable with their masturbation practices, too. That’s why the affirmations work to normalize a myriad of potential experiences with masturbation. If you have any you’d like to add, please feel free to share them as a comment here!

If you’d like 1:1 support in your relationship to masturbation, check out my coaching form. If you want to try out some masturbation practices over the course of a month, Goddess Amina has a free month-long challenge.