Final steps (& lessons) of becoming a doctora
Supporting & being supportive are gifts
When I started receiving RSVPs for my dissertation defense, I got worried - I knew I would pass but what if I made a fool of myself? What if I didn’t do justice to my dissertation, the study, and most importantly, the participants who generously shared their time and stories?
I joined my Zoom defense room early, getting more and more nervous as I waited for others to join. I remembered a friend told me to superwoman and I started doing that until the moment I saw a loved one enter. Seeing her face reminded me to exhale because everything was OK. I was supported and would be held lovingly by community no matter how I performed.
I defended my dissertation on the last day of February, and it was amazing. I did the Body, Belonging, Race, Fetishization, and Sex (BBRFS) Study proud. My only regret is that I did not share the opportunity to join more widely - falsely assuming that people outside of my program would not be interested in attending. Despite how much I value agency and community, I took away the agency of some members of my community by not offering an invitation.
I want to emphasize the importance of community — of holding and being held. Of supporting and being supported. This is how we will make it through.
There is always so much terror, horror, and oppression in the world, and also, there is opportunity for shared joy, creation, and connection. Opportunities to celebrate one another are gifts, not burdens.
What could you be celebrating with a fuller heart? Where are there missed opportunities for sharing connection and joy?
Now that I have passed the doctora milestone, I am eager to continue nurturing relationships from within and outside this field so that we may continue to create together — in defiance of those who seek to silence our voices and in collaboration and support of those who deserve to know they are not alone. I already have my first opportunity to share and build upon this work confirmed at the 2025 National Sexual Health Conference where I’m hosting a 70-minute roundtable session, “My body didn't belong to me:” Contextualizing Memorable Messages Caribbean Hispanas!
Once I submit the first two articles for publication (first one is being submitted tomorrow, fingers crossed!) and have met with the fabulous team of folks who want to co-create curriculum and additional articles from the BBRFS study, we’ll return to seeking funding to create a virtual museum. This museum will exhibit narratives of diasporic Latines around topics of body, belonging, race, fetishization, sex, and more. We will also host events, house curricula and research, and work to disrupt intragroup harm. If you are interested in any of this, let me know!
Request: I’m debating sharing my reflections chapter here, too. Let me know if there are any fellow researchers reading this that would like to see that or the recorded defense itself :)
Un abrazo,
Dra. Yael R. Rosenstock Gonzalez